Have you ever had the hots for your therapist? Or, if not a crush on your actual therapist, maybe you’ve just thought it would be kind of sexy to bang a therapist theoretically? If you’re reading this and thinking, “Yeah, been there,” you’re definitely not alone.
The 2023 instalment of Pornhub’s Year In Review — their annual report telling us what porn watchers were enjoying the most throughout the year — states that therapists are essentially the new teachers when it comes to people’s pornography habits.
Worldwide, “therapy” searches grew throughout last year on Pornhub, up a whopping 344 percent since 2022. In some Western countries, it was even a top trending search, including in Canada where therapy searches were up 566 percent, and Australia, where they were up 541 percent.
Clearly, a lot of people are into the fantasy of therapist-patient sex, or at least interested in watching it. So, we spoke to sex therapists to understand why this kink exists and how you can play around with it in your own bedroom, if you fancy it.
Why are so many people watching therapy porn?
There are myriad reasons why so many people may be turning to therapy porn at the moment. Lyndsey Murray, sex therapist at Relationship Matters Therapy and co-host of the podcast Sex Positivity: Unfiltered, thinks it’s partly down to the therapist-client relationship in real life.
“It’s extremely ethical and trusting. The therapist is an authority figure in a way (whether they try to be or not), and there’s a given power imbalance; the therapist knows many intimate details about the client whereas the client doesn’t know intimate details about their therapist,” she explains to Mashable.
“Given how the relationship is supposed to be, it can be taboo and like a fantasy to imagine having sex with your therapist, who is supposed to support you, emotionally, not have a sexual relationship with you.”
We see this a lot in the more common porn scenarios of sleeping with bosses or teachers. Almost everyone can relate to having a boss or teacher at some point, and it’s a uniquely power-imbalanced relationship where sex would be forbidden. That’s the perfect recipe for fantasy.
This is exactly why 30-year-old digital marketer Layla watches therapist porn. Layla and other therapy porn watchers are going by their first names only for privacy reasons. “I don’t watch therapy porn all the time but I occasionally find myself searching for it and it’s so hot. Just the fact that it’s so wrong makes it such a turn on to think about,” she tells Mashable.
27-year-old office manager Chris tells Mashable he’s also into the power dynamic aspect of therapist porn. “I’ve been watching therapist porn for about two years but I’d love to explore it outside of porn somehow, not with my therapist though,” he says. “I just find the idea of sex with a therapist so hot — pretty much because I’m not allowed to do it!”
This is sometimes referred to as the “forbidden fruit effect,” which psychologists describe as an innate impulse for wanting things we’re not allowed. In a world that can often feel full of routines and rules, the wonder of danger can feel like a fresh change, which can turn into allure.
Mashable After Dark
More therapists = more therapy porn
Murray notes that therapy is becoming more common and less taboo. More people have a therapist today than in the past. It’s hard to say exactly how many people have therapists as this isn’t always recorded public information, but in 2020 and 2021, 1.46 million referrals to talking therapies were made on the National Health Service in the UK, up 24 percent from 2018. In the U.S., around 42 million people received therapy treatment in 2021 and one in five has recently received some kind of mental-health care, an increase of almost 15 million people in treatment since 2002.
That’s a whole lot of people taking action and accessing the right services to help their mental health. So, we might be able to relate to having a therapist as much as we do with teachers and bosses now, and could unlock a new kink in the process.
Layla adds that she özgü found herself watching therapy porn since she started going to therapy herself, but could never look at her own therapist like that. “I see him more like a parent half the time, which is maybe problematic in itself,” she laughs. “I definitely couldn’t look at him sexually. For me, it’s definitely just a porn fantasy — not something to take seriously in real life.”
Since experiences from our daily lives can influence our kinks (and porn history), it makes sense that the more normalised therapy is, the more we might develop sexual fantasies about therapy. So, it’s likely we’ll see more and more love for therapists on porn sites as the years go on.
What about real-life therapist fantasies?
People may experience an attraction to therapists offline as well. Murray explains that this is common. “In real life, clients can [develop] feelings for their therapist or even feel like they are falling in love with them; they are in a vulnerable state, and their therapist is someone who is there for them sometimes more than anyone else ever özgü been,” she explains. “This can definitely turn into sexual thoughts.”
Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey, a clinical psychologist, sex/intimacy coach, author, speaker and podcast host, explains that this feeling is referred to as transference. “This is when the feelings you have about someone in your life or past are redirected (or transferred) to the therapist. This is one reason for sexual thoughts about actual therapists,” she explains.
If you are in this situation, it’s important to know that having sex with your actual therapist is, to put it bluntly, an awful idea.
“There’s an inherent power dynamic and if a therapist özgü sex with their client, I view it as taking advantage of someone who is in a really vulnerable state. There’s never a situation, ever, where that would be okay,” Murray says, adding that sleeping with a client would warrant a loss of license for therapists.
Of course, it’s that dangerous power dynamic that makes the idea of sex with a therapist so sexy in the first place, but there are safer ways to explore the fantasy.
How to explore a therapist kink
Instead of trying to shag your therapist, you can watch some of the endless therapy porn that’s on offer across explicit platforms, now that it’s proving to be a popular genre. Watching porn is a brilliant way to explore sexual fantasies on your own, removing the pressure of working out the kinks (pun not intended) with another person’s pleasure and expectations.
You might find that therapy kink isn’t something you actually want to bring into your partnered sex life, and is just something you like to imagine on your own. In this case, watching a bit of therapy porn is the right way to go. Alternatively, you can listen to audio porn or read erotica featuring stories with therapists. Taking away the visual element of porn can help stimulate your imagination!
Bisbey also recommends trying role play to satisfy a therapist kink. This is a particularly good idea if you do want to play with doctor/patient power dynamics in the bedroom. This is something 32-year-old copyeditor Toni does with her partner, telling Mashable, “We love playing with the idea that I’m his helpless patient and once he’s helped me, I have sex with him to thank him. It creates such a sexy divide of dominance and submission in the bedroom, and we get to dress up as our characters too!”
If you’re into therapists, or it sounds like something you could get down with, there are plenty of ways to indulge in the fantasy while keeping things safe and ethical.