Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching — and according to Tinder‘s Year in Swipe, one of the biggest dating trends on TikTok over the past year was the humble car date.
The concept is straightforward: You pick up your date in your car, drive somewhere remote with a nice view — or to a drive-through food place — and have your date in the parked car. The rest is like any other meetup: Getting to know each other, bonding, tensions rising, you know how it goes. And car dates work for cohabiting couples too; beat cabin fever and get some bonding time locked-in by taking your car to a park for dinner instead of sitting in the kitchen.
It might sound simple and it certainly isn’t bougie (unless you have a Bentley), but car dates are undeniably intimate. That’s why TikTokkers have shared their love of car dates, calling them “essential,” “unbeatable,” and “the best kind of date.”
The only improvement we’d suggest: adding sex to the equation. People are already having sex in self-driving cars, but the deed can also be done in a lower-tech vehicle. We spoke with sex educators to find out how to turn a cute car date into a sexcapade on wheels.
Why have sex in your car?
There’s a bit of a running stereotype that teenagers frequently have sex in cars, or that people tend to have sex for the very first time in a car, for which we can probably thank American teen movies. But around half of car owners — of all ages — have had sex in their car at some point, according to car sales website Carwow, with the over 55s being the most likely to have car sex.
For the other half of car owners, car sex hasn’t been featured in their sexual menu. Maybe that’s because they have a small car, they just don’t tend to get horny when they’re out and about driving, or it just hasn’t occurred to them to try it.
Sex therapist Melissa Cook at Sofia Gray — a selling platform for used underwear — thinks we should change that, as car sex can be exciting, adventurous, passionate, and really intimate. “It appeals to some individuals because of the spontaneity and the thrill of engaging in a sexual act in an almost public place and the risks associated with this,” Cook explains. “The often confined and small space of a car also brings people together physically, which can create a strong connection.”
She adds that if you were one of those people who fooled around in cars as a teen, shagging in your car as an adult can remind you of times when you were younger and carefree. “If not, it could be a novel experience that is a first-time for those who are looking for something a bit different,” Cook says.
Car sex also comes with some perhaps-unexpected pros. “Car sex is really convenient as you can do it in lots of different places. It’s also great for couples who want to experiment and escape from their usual surroundings,” Cook says. And for those who don’t have a private place to go, car sex offers this experience, too. People who live with their parents, people with flatmates or children in the house: Car sex is about to change your life.
The thrill of potentially getting caught can also heighten the excitement, and requires much less planning than a lot of other sexcapades on offer when you’re looking to spice things up in the bedroom. Plus, most people in the UK already own a car (77 percent of households).
Mashable After Dark
Isabelle Uren, educator at sex toy review site BedBible, agrees that a car rendezvous can be thrilling and passionate when done right. “Sometimes it feels like one of those things people talk about doing, but [it] never actually materialises because of the limitations and awkwardness involved,” she explains. “That’s especially true for those of us with three-door drives.”
So, there are steps to consider to get car sex right:
Preparation is key
Cook says the most important part of car sex is preparation. Bring along condoms and lube so you’re as safe and comfortable as possible, and some wipes or towels for the clean-up.
As for the vehicle itself, make sure your car is parked and the engine is off. “Be aware of your surroundings and avoid busy areas. Keep the car locked to avoid unwanted interruptions,” says Cook. “You should park in a discreet and safe location to ensure privacy, reduce the risk of being seen, and help you to feel more comfortable.”
Location scouting
Now, public sex is actually illegal in the UK, including within your car. So, you need to be incredibly careful where you choose to have your car fun. “Privacy is key when it comes to car intimacy,” says Uren. “Seek out secluded spots, like quiet parking lots, deserted roads, or remote overlooks. Remember, the thrill of getting caught is fun, but getting arrested is not!”
Other car sex safety tips:
Keep it legal: Always be aware of local laws regarding public indecency and tinted windows. The last thing you need is an unexpected visit from law enforcement.
Keys accessible: Keep the car keys within reach in case you need to make a quick exit.
Setting the mood
Though it doesn’t sound like the sexiest setting, Uren promises your car can be turned into a seductive haven with the right touches. She recommends dimming the lights to set the mood with soft, ambient lighting. “Consider investing in some battery-operated LED candles or fairy lights for added romance,” she adds.
Music will also do a lot of heavy lifting here. “Create a sexy playlist to enhance the mood. Slow jams or sensual tunes can set the stage for a memorable encounter,” Uren explains.
You also might want to bring some blankets and pillows to make your car’s interior as cosy as possible (and maybe just keep them in there in case you’re ever in a long traffic jam) and have a think about wardrobe choices. We’ve all awkwardly fumbled out of a non-sex-friendly outfit for spontaneous sex before, but that just won’t cut it in a car. Your space is already limited, so Cook suggests getting ahead of that hurdle by wearing button-down clothes like shirts and dresses, and shoes that are easy to whip off.
How to have car sex
As for the nitty-gritty part, you’ll need to think about your positioning for getting car sex started. Uren says that the best sex to have in a car is hand or oral sex. It’s a little more subtle and less awkward for finding the right positioning with limited space.
However, if you’re daring enough to try it, there are a few tried-and-true classic positions for penetration in a vehicle, which Uren özgü aptly named:
Backseat Delight: The backseat is the MVP of car intimacy. Try various positions, such as the classic missionary, doggy style, or cowgirl. Use the front seats for support and leverage.
Passenger Seat Pleasure: For the adventurous, the passenger seat can provide an exciting angle. Your partner can straddle or kneel, creating an up-close-and-personal encounter.
Trunk Tango: If you have a roomy trunk, it can be an unexpected hotspot for some kinky car fun. Lay down a blanket and let your imagination run wild.
Cook adds that you can bring along toys to spice things up even more, or you can use your car’s equipment to add to the experience too. Seat belts, for example, can also be used as restraints for light bondage play. The steering wheel or gear shift can be used to support or leverage certain positions. If there’s any time to get creative with sex, it’s when you’re doing it in a car.
Cars can make an exhilarating and passionate environment for sex. Just stay safe, creative, and keep the laws in mind for a successful backseat (or any seat you like) jaunt.
